The Fifth Duel of The Second Round of The Retell Writing Contest

Hello Retellers,

Welcome to the fifth duel of the second round. All results will be announced after the eight duel of the second round.

1. To vote, simply comment : I vote story 1 or I vote story 2.
2. Do not attempt to predict who wrote which story.
3. Do not solicit for votes for any story. You can share the link and ask people to vote but do not tell them which story to vote for.
4. Do not vote more than once.
5. Voting starts by 8am and ends by 8pm (GMT +1).

Today Modester Chinonyelum and James Sunday attempt to bring the thunder. And the theme is King Saul(they are to pick a story from Saul’s life and retell it). Word count is 500 words.

Let us ride:


Story 1

I MUST KILL HIM!(King Saul and David)

‘I must do something, I cannot allow soap to enter my eyes while am close to water’,Saul  soliloquized pacing around his room

‘Hmmm,my men now accords more respect to him than me! I will not allow him to dethrone me in my domain. Mba! I must cut this handshake now before it passes the elbow and turn to something else. yes! I know what to do…’ he said to himself as he lay back to sleep..

***               ***        ***

Saul is a very wealthy politician. Like other politicians,he does whatever he has to do to remain in the game. He is one of those who Igbo’s will say that his ‘chi’ is alive because he lacked virtually nothing.

The Don as Saul is popularly called has many people working for him. His hinge man is a handsome fellow called David. David oversees all the affairs in Saul’s little kingdom. He is a pro when it comes to assassination and has killed many people for Saul.

Saul has seen how his men respected and praised David,thus he became jealous. When David took out his political rival who people knew was very strong,Saul’s fears became heightened as his men loved David more. He became determined to kill David.

***          ***         ***

‘Jack!’, Saul called.

‘Sir’,he answered and rushed in wondering why the Don wants to give an order directly to him instead of through David as before.

‘I want you to do me a great favour,’ Saul stated.

What could he wish for,Jack pondered.

‘You are to assassinate David’,Saul continued.

‘But Sir,he started to say,David is…

Shut up! Saul cuts in, this is my domain,I built it from the scratch and I will not allow another fellow to inherit it. It i

must obey my orders without further questions.

The young man had a lot to say but knew it was best to seal his lips and carry out the orders as giving.

‘You shall go tonight, I have verified that he will be at home. Get it done or…’the Don threatened.

David was in his sitting room when he heard the noise near his window,he knew that something was amess. As soon as he dived behind the cushion the rings of bullets followed; Taaa!taaa! Taaa taaaa…

David got his gun from his drawer  and fired back; Kiki kikikik!…

The gunfire continued and David killed one of the men and injured Jack on his leg. He went close,collected his  gun and was shocked at what beheld his sight.

‘What is the meaning of this Jack’?,David asked.

‘Am sorry, am just following orders from the boss,he ordered your assassination.

David was sad that his boss wants him dead,he withdrew some of his money,packed his needed belongings and left…

***                 ***                ***

Saul was full of rage when he found out that David escaped. ‘I must kill him,He who fights and run lives to fight again’,with that statement, Saul smiled to himself….

Story 2

President Saul Kish rounded off his presidential campaign speech in Beersheba with a sentence that had long become his mantra.

“If I can make it, then you can make it”.

And true it was, for his election as Israeli president exploded a myth.

“People from minority tribes could become president”.

Just who would have thought that a man from the lowly tribe of Benjamin would one day become the number one citizen of isreal. Some said it was the big money laundering and bribery scandals which rocked Joel, the candidate of the popular independent party and first son of the then interim head of state, Samuel, that afforded Saul the victory.

Well, four years had since passed and the quest for another president had begun. Saul was at his eloquent best in Beersheba, as he went through the campaign norm of enlisting the achievements of his administration and also unveiling the manifesto for the next term. His dark armani suit was shining brightly like a pre-war Knight’s helmet. After he concluded his speech he was led out of the arena and into the waiting helicopter. By him were, the “OX MEN” , a notorious secret protection agency headed by the mean looking Army General, Abner.

Everything was in place for Saul, for when he looked at Jonathan, his first son, he saw a leader who was ready to take over from him in politics.

“Arghhh” he sighed.

His blood boiled whenever he remembered his number one enemy and threat to his political aspirations. Ignorantly, one would guess the person to be maybe the president of Philistia or any Egyptian Mafia, but no! It was Saul’s very own son in law and former Major in the Israeli army, David Jesse, who was now at large but still a presidential candidate.

David’s meteoric rise to prominence was bewildering. How could one explain a country boy tending to sheep in the small Town of Bethlehem in the far north, rising and coming so close to the Israeli white house. The reality was that  this ‘country boy’ was now leading in the Presidential election polls and was on course to pull a country shocking victory.

“Damn it” Saul fumed.

If only the press had not made so much of his heroics in the Israeli -Philistia war, if only he had not been stupid enough to promise the best officer in that war, his daughter’s hand in marriage, if only…

“Damn it” Saul said again, this time aloud.

To think that Saul had personally handpicked David from a sea of young boys in a music competition and appointed him as his own personal musician, only to discover the boy’s love for the uniform, and so enlisted him into the Israeli army.
Back then, David was his personal favorite and he was fuelled by the desire to see a boy of similar background succeed just like him, for he saw a younger version of himself in David. Then, he never thought of the fact that David might want more, not even a chance that David would one day become number one in the list of the people he wanted dead.


Let the voting begin.

9 thoughts on “The Fifth Duel of The Second Round of The Retell Writing Contest

Leave a comment