DEAD MAN WALKING
The sun was shinning like it also held a grudge. I followed the crowd with Jesus at a safe distance . The men were at the forefront shouting for justice, women following and children running to keep pace like their survival depended on it. My feet was beginning to feel sore and I felt my heart rate increase. The heat in the black hood i had on was not making it easy but risking being recognized was too great a price for ventilation. It was an unfair choice between heat and death.
I have never felt so useless in my entire life. If I was told days ago that I would be sheepishly following a crowd of ignorant folks, I’d have rained insults. Sometimes I think following Jesus was the biggest mistake I ever made ,but the consolation I felt in the last three years makes me repel the thought.
“Judas na bastard”.(Judas is a bastadr). I muttered silently to myself.
I should have known the betrayer Jesus spoke of was the unrepentant thief.
If wishes were granted merely by the thought of it, Judas will drop dead whereever he is.
I thought back to the event at the garden.
” I should have gone for that pigs head not his ear”.
I caught a glimpse of Jesus as he was helped up the stairs of the Palace.
I wish I could rescue him but it was his fault I was this calm, all his teachings had softened me up.
I adjusted my hood and sat on a bench close to the door of the courtroom.
The level of disonance was remarkable as the air was filled with noise from the market outside the palace, jesting of onloookers and shouting from the courtroom.
Jesus was pushed to the front and witnesses came forth.
” He said he will destroy our worship center and build it in three days”. Jehu said. I recognised him from the previous electoral campaign. I hoped the people saw this for what it was: a bid for popularity by a miserable politician.
Others came forth and said things that made me cringe on the inside.
“He said he is one with God”. A man in uniform said.
“He said he is older than Moses”.
“He claims to be the king of the Jews”.
“He breaks the law of sabbath.”
The accusations went on and on, reality began to dawn on me; there is no escape in this. Jesus is a dead man.
The King stepped forward and raised his hand to demand silence. The hall went still.
” Tell me, are you Christ, the Son of God?”. He asked Jesus.
Jesus was silent for a while and just when we were giving up on his reply, he said:
“I say unto you, hereafter shall you see the son of man sitting on the right hand of power and coming in the clouds of heaven”
The crowd went crazy and noise of insults and curse filled the air again, some tore their shirt out of rage and others attepmted to smite him. My heart sank within me and i got ready to leave, there was no point staying anymore.
” This man is guilty”. I heard the king say as I turned away from the courtroom.
“This man is a follower of Jesus”. A lady cried admist the crowd pointing her fingers at me.
I felt my mouth go dry and felt the urge to urinate. I turned to see who spake and for once was glad for the noise in the room.
“You are mad, i do not know him”. I said and turned to leave hurriedly, there was no point arguing with her.
I was glad i made it to the gate. I took in the sight before me and observed the irony. The market men and women went about their business like the city was not in uproar.
I took off my hood as I was sure no one will recognise me anymore. I took just two steps and heard a shout behind me.
“This man was with Jesus at Galilee”.
It was one of the bible scholars this time. I turned to reply him.
“Too much book has upset your brain anatomy, I do not know that lunatic that claims to be the son of God. Do you wish to be unfortunate in life?”.
I frantically put on my hood and excused myself to prevent a scene. Just as i walked away , i heard a cock crow from one of the stalls. I remembered Jesus’ words and my heart broke.
My heart broke for I was just like Judas.
I sort for a solitary place to let the tears flow.